I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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