does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
