Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
