Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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