a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
