It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
