Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
