She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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