Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
