I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
