Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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