You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
