The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
