Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
