two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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