she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
