She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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