I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
As shirtless as possible
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
