We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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