mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
