I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
