With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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