If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
