I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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