I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
