yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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