Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
