Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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