I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
