I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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