I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
