I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it because I queefed?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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