I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
