talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
