Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
