Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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