I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just had sex on a roof
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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