Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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