Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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