What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
