I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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