I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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