K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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