I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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