Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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