We need to rekindle our bromance
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
