I showed him my bush... on skype.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A bitchslap is in order.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize