talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
