Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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