I bet he comes in French.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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