He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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