meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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