Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
