we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
